3 lessons to combat your students' social skills regression
“It has been exponentially difficult for families with children with special needs in particular children with autism, because the structure has changed, the schedules have changed,” said Yampa Valley Autism Program Executive Director Lisa Lorenz in an interview with the Steamboat Pilot & Today.
“People have a misconception that people with autism don’t socialize," Lorenz continued. "They do socialize; they need social interaction. It’s very, very difficult when they don’t have the opportunity to socialize with their peers and to continue to learn and grow.”
As we continue to navigate these uncharted waters, skills regression is many teachers' greatest concern for their special needs students, even more so now as they go longer without access to their usual supports, therapies, and programs. In addition to academic concerns, teachers--and their parents--worry about the longterm effects on their students' social skills development, particularly for neurodivergent children.
Here are three lessons you can use in your classroom to combat your students' social skills regression.
1. Have your students write a letter (or email!) to a friend or family member.
Remember: the purpose of communication is to convey a message. Before beginning the journey to improve my communication skills, the manner I preferred to use to communicate with others was to write them a letter. Each of the following components plays an important part in good communication:
Greeting/opening statement/question: When both communicating and writing, begin with a greeting, opening statement, or question. People may have other things on their mind, or they may not think you are addressing them, so the use of a good greeting, opening statement, or question will help "catch their attention" and allows for the possibility that they will be intrigued enough to want to talk with you or read further.
Staying on topic: Whether you are writing or speaking, you should have a body of information. When having a conversation, it is important to stay on the topic being discussed and limit your communication to one or two closely-related topics. This makes the information you are sharing or receiving easier to follow.
Ending/departing statement: When writing or speaking, having an ending or a departing statement is essential. Both written communication and conversations should have some type of ending or departing statement. Without some form of ending, both the person with whom you are speaking will wonder what do next.
Before sending the letter, evaluate the letter with your student: did they use an opening statement, stay on topic, and close with a department statement?
Although I do not recommend constantly using written communications, as a starting point, I often found it to be effective. Hopefully, as you and your student work through these exercises, they will improve their communication to a point when they can address an issue/situation through conversation.
2. Watch a news program (or news clip) and have your students list five questions that were asked by a reporter.
Being able to use effective communication skills is essential for interpersonal communication to occur, and the use of questioning skills is an important area within verbal communication. During the communication process, questions are asked and answered in order to help clarify, extract more information, draw someone into a conversation, and sustain a conversation.
There are two types of questions that can be asked and answered: open-ended and closed.
Open-ended questions: questions that allow for the continuation of the conversation and are used to solicit additional information. The use of open-ended questions has an inviting quality that encourages the speaker to provide a more authentic, in-depth, and lengthier response. When used in conversation, open-ended questions allow you to find out more about the person with whom you are talking.
Closed questions: questions that can be answered with a “yes,” “no,” or short response. Closed questions stop the conversation and provide only the answer to your question without any further detail. Asking closed questions will limit the listener’s answer because they will provide no more information than is needed or required--the response you will receive to a closed question will be just what you asked.
Use open-ended questions--questions that begin with: who, what, when, where, or how--to extend a conversation. For example:
Who did you see the movie with?
What was your favorite part of the movie?
When did you see the movie?
Where did you go to see the movie?
How was the movie?
News reporters are very good at asking open-ended questions because their job is to get the other person to talk about what they saw, think, feel, etc. The TV viewer is not interested in what the news reporter feels about what is happening; instead, they want the TV audience to hear from the people who were there.
3. Let students practice their conversational skills with other students about a topic that interests them.
Good communicators have also learned the important skill of being better listeners. During a conversation, they focus on what is being said by the other person. They choose to listen more than they speak. So many communication barriers are caused because we have a tendency to hear and not listen, and it is important to understand the difference between the two.
Hearing is an involuntary physical ability involving the ears. As one of the five senses, hearing happens all the time and is the involuntary receiving of sound vibrations or waves through our ears.
On the other hand, listening is an active process that uses the senses of hearing, seeing, or touch. It is a skill that requires letting the sound go through your brain, understanding what has been heard, and processing its meaning. As a listener, you choose what you want to hear and understand the information with both your mind and body.
In a conversation, listen--not just hear--what the other person has to say. In order to develop your listening skills to better connect with and learn from the person you are in conversation with, practice the following:
Prepare yourself to listen. As a receiver, you need to clear your mind and focus on the message from the sender. Not only will this help you be able to ask more topic-related questions, focusing on the speaker also reduces the chance of being distracted by activities that might be occurring in other parts of the room.
Focus on finding meaning in what you hear. Think of listening as paying attention to learn. Concentrate on the words that are spoken, understand information through your involvement in the conversation, and be alert to how the words are spoken.
Do not interrupt. Avoid finishing sentences for or talking over the person who is speaking and be careful not to let one or two points you may disagree with distract you from the whole message. Assume that it is your responsibility to be attentive to the subject the speaker is addressing and see the conversation as a chance to learn something.
Ask open-ended questions. Listening requires being at a highly-involved level. By asking who/what/where/when/how questions that pertain to what the speaker is talking about demonstrates that you are listening and want to learn more.
After they finish the conversation, work through these questions:
Are you hearing or listening during a conversation? Provide and explain examples.
List five things you will do to make yourself a better listener.