How to navigate these three IEP meeting issues

As I continue to consult with parents and educators, the underlining theme that is continually expressed is either "parent non-participation" or "educator non-participation" in IEP meetings.

This is not a new problem! Parents might feel intimidated because of a number of uncomfortable conditions that may exist at IEP meetings.

Issue #1: Unfamiliarity with who is at the IEP meeting.

Parents might be unfamiliar with who is at their child's IEP meeting. They may see a room of professionals and wonder: who are these people? How do I properly address them? What is their role and and what interactions or time have they had with my child?

FOR PARENTS: Ask that each person at the IEP meeting introduce themselves and explain the kind and amount of interaction that had, may have, or will have with your child.

FOR EDUCATORS: Provide identification for each member in attendance at the IEP meeting. This could be name tags or "name tents" where the person's name, position, and title is indicated. 

Issue #2: Educators speaking at a level of knowledge or expertise that is uncomfortable to the parent.

As one parent so eloquently stated at an IEP meeting, "I am here to learn how we can work together to best assist my child's educational progress. Please, please, please talk to me as an equal!"

FOR PARENTS: Your top priority concerning IEP meeting is being there! Remember: you were your child’s first teacher! There is no one in that room that knows your child better than YOU!

If you feel uncomfortable attending the meeting, the law says that you may bring someone to the meeting with you. It is very important to think about who you are choosing to attend this important meeting. Would you want to bring your stock broker who has knowledge about stocks and bonds or an advocate who knows educational terms, procedures, and a variety of accommodations and modifications that will benefit your child’s educational advancement? 

The better choice would be to bring an advocate to IEP meetings. 

The Individuals with Disabilities Act (IDEA 2004) states, “At the discretion of the parent or the agency, other individuals who have knowledge or special expertise regarding the child, including related services personnel as appropriate, and whenever appropriate, the child with a disability."

If appropriate, having your child at the IEP meeting is important. Their perspective is very important. They can provide feedback about their educational experiences. Having the child’s perspective can indicate what is working for them, what a particular teacher is doing that they find helpful, and provide other information. 

FOR EDUCATORS: The words used during IEP meetings are your chance to encourage the parents that you have their child’s best educational interests in mind. Parents often feel that because of the discussion level or terminology used at the IEP meetings, their contributions are not valued or wanted, thus preventing them from being “active participants."

Ensure that the language you use is appropriate, take the time to define terms and procedures, and give parents an opportunities to ask questions or gather more information.  

Issue #3: Distrusting relationship between parents and school.

"Listen to me—I know my child!" Parents often feel that the IEP meeting is a competition between the school and themselves. They sometimes wonder, “Who is doing the better job at helping my child?" and may have concerns that the school is offering "boilerplate" solutions that are not specific to their child.

FOR PARENTS: Bring a framed photograph of your child to the meeting. This will help the educators better know and recognize your child, making your child more than just a name. I suggest using this technique particularly if it is not applicable for your child to attend the IEP meeting in person. When you and others are speaking about your child, ask that everyone use their name.

FOR EDUCATORS: Use the child’s name in what can be called a “child-centered” IEP meeting. Make sure the IEP meeting is an inclusive environment, where the parents feel free and encouraged to offer suggestions. Emphasize that you are working together, and close meetings with a phrase suggesting, “As a team, we have come up with the following suggestions..."  

When it comes to preparing for an IEP meeting, the process can be overwhelming, but you do not have to do it alone! I equip parents with the tools and knowledge necessary to be an active and knowledgeable participant in the IEP process.

Learn more on my website.